It is difficult to put my experience here in India at yoga school into words but I’ll try:
Painful. Tiring. Hot. Flies. Inspiring. Cows. Mountains. Rain. Enlightening. Humbling. Gratifying. Love. Car horns. Beautiful. Tough. Rewarding. Terrifying. Meaningful. Simple. Complicated. Frustrating. Wonderful.
Every day I went to classes and talked to friends and teachers and friends who were my teachers (and teachers who were my friends) and got filled up to the brim with wisdom and information, almost like taking a jug to a tap of cold water and letting it fill to overflowing. Every night, or every night that I wasn’t too exhausted, I sat on my bed with my coloured pens and tried to write it all down so that it wouldn’t slip away.
Now six weeks later I have a little book full of quotes and lessons and messages from the universe. I have stronger and more flexible muscles. I have a stronger and more flexible mind. I feel quieter. A friend in the course told me on our last day that she’d seen a subtle shift in me over the weeks, that I seemed to have softened – I feel that too, slightly. Most of all though, I feel humbled. I am sure that I know so much less than I thought and much less than I want to know. I am also sure I have much more work to do than I thought on myself and my behaviours with others. I am ready to keep trying my best, forever and ever.
So I’m officially a yoga teacher now, but I feel more like a yoga student than I did when I arrived. I don’t feel ready to teach classes, but I simultaneously feel excited to share what I’ve learned. More than anything, I feel ready for the next stage in this great safe beautiful adventure that is my life.
The picture at the top is one of those pages on which I tried to carefully record all the wisdom from my day. I chose to share it because it seems to contain some of the biggest lessons that kept coming up for me throughout the course.
And thanks as always for your love and patience while I took a little long sabbatical from the blog. It always seems to call me back at exactly the right time for me. Thanks for reading!