My Next Big Adventure

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The last few months have been a whirlwind for me. Even the last week alone has been a blur as I, yet again, choose to make over my life.

Ever since I graduated from university I’ve been finding my way, one little piece at a time. There have been so many moments over the last few years when I didn’t know what life would look like even three months down the line. Times when I didn’t know where I’d be living, how I’d be making money, or where in the world – literally – I’d be.

My trajectory has bounced across several countries and time zones and I’ve had so many adventures that seem surreal when I look back on them now. I’ve been so unbelievably lucky, and I’ve also made my own luck. I’ve taken risks and gained friendship and love and more confidence in myself than I knew I was capable of.

There’s a Steve Jobs quote I love that I feel applies here (and to all of us, always):

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.”

And one from Cheryl Strayed, which is tattooed on my heart:

“Let whatever mysterious starlight that guided you this far, guide you onward into whatever crazy beauty awaits.”

I wrote a post that included that second quote on the day I finished university. I had no idea how much crazy beauty awaited me then, and truthfully I still don’t now. All I know is that Steve & Cheryl are absolutely, 100% right. I can only connect the dots looking backwards, and some mysterious starlight is absolutely guiding me onward.

Next Big Adventure >> Life In Limbo

Last week, I chose to end my relationship and move to Toronto. These were two big, scary decisions that I agonized over for weeks beforehand, for lots of personal, complicated reasons. But they were beautiful decisions too, made with love and care and a sense of abundance.

The last time I lived on my own in Canada, it was in a sweet, colourful apartment in Montreal that I filled with projects and good food and friends and plenty of love and cake. That apartment was magic, and I still miss it sometimes. At the time though, I got restless and I wanted to see the world, so I packed it all away and started my adventures.

Three years later, and I’m ready for another kind of adventure – building a life and a home for myself near all my loved ones. I’m happy to say that I now know where I’ll be living three months from now and beyond, and that feels really good. I keep getting excited about tiny little things like coming home for the weekend, or exploring bulk grocery stores in my neighbourhood, or how far of a walk it’ll be to the beach (15 minutes! Hallelujah!).

All this to say: I’m trying to trust. I’m trying to let go. I’m trying to let things feel easy. I’m trying to have an open mind and an open heart. I’m trying to enjoy each moment as it comes and be grateful. If I have learned anything over the past few years, it is this.

PS. Somehow over the past few months I had forgotten that my word of the year was light. I love that I could remember it here, now, and that it came back to me in such a beautiful way.

  • KP

    Love this post! I too am starting my next “adventure” and am beginning to feel like it’ll be a good fit after all…after many months and years of indecision. Also–love the quotes you shared! I may just use one in an upcoming post…they’re just so perfect! Thanks for sharing your next step experience! :)

    -KP @ Inspiration for Good

    https://inspirationforgood.wordpress.com/

    • Hi KP!! Thanks for writing, it’s awesome to hear from you – and your new adventure sounds intriguing as well! Indecision is horrible, isn’t it?? Another of my favourite Cheryl Strayed quotes is “Trusting yourself means living out what you already know to be true”, which always haunts me when I’m stuck in indecision. I’m so glad to hear you have made a choice, because it’s quite a relief, isn’t it?? xo

  • McKenzie Reed

    It’s been a joy to watch your journey. I know how hard LDRs and cross cultural relationships can be, I’ve been in one for the past two years myself. But I hope your choice to move on will bring you many opportunities and happiness in the future! Please keep writing because I love being a silent observer :)

    • Hi McKenzie! Thanks for writing. Yes..absolutely, what you said! Relationships are hard at the best of times and extra factors like distance, language and cultural differences definitely don’t make it any easier haha. It was a tough choice for me to make, but ultimately it was the right one for me right now. I plan to keep writing, and I love that you’re reading, silently or otherwise!! :D

  • Brooke

    Following your adventures for the past few years has been so inspirational! I love the idea of trusting some invisible force to guide you in the right path and I wish you all the best in this next “Big Adventure”! I recently accepted a job that would require me to stay put and travel less and I’ve been struggling to see it as a positive thing… This was exactly what I needed to read to reframe this as my next big adventure! Being surrounded by family and friends and knowing where you’ll be three months from now? Yea, that’s a pretty sweet deal :)

    • Hi Brooke! Thanks so much for writing, it feels great to know that you’ve been following along. Most times it feels like I’m just guessing at each step of my journey, so I have to try and trust that invisible force (even when I don’t feel it all that strongly as it’s happening! haha). I’m so happy that you could reframe the situation you’re in – there are so many positive elements to really any choice we make but it can sometimes be so hard to see them, for me at least! :) Good luck on YOUR new adventure, I’m sure it’s going to be amazing.

  • Krissy Estrada

    I have been quietly watching your adventure for about 2 years now. I love reading your blog because I felt like our paths were existing on some parallel sister threads. When you were teaching in Korea, I read your blog because I was considering teaching in Japan. When you left Korea, I started teaching in Japan, my first time living abroad. Then you moved to South America for love and I recently moved to China for my boyfriend, but I miss my friends and family back home.

    Your positivity towards all the challenges you’ve faced is inspirational. Your blog brings ‘light’ to my life and I can’t wait to read about what your adventures in Toronto will bring.

    • Krissy, reading comments like yours completely makes my day. I just think it’s such a beautiful thing that our paths mirror each other because it makes me feel less alone. It’s such a wild, wonderful world! I love that you have been reading but I love even more that now I know a little about you. It’s so hard being away from friends and family, I completely feel your struggle with that. <3 Thank you so much for your lovely comment, it brightened my whole day. Best of luck in China and keep in touch, let me know how things go! :D I know I haven't been on this space too much over the past several months but I'm so happy you're around and reading.

  • Welcome home, honey xo

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  • Laura

    I have been reading your blog for the last three years (I feel like we would be great friends), and only rarely commented, but I wanted to wish you the best of luck for your future projects, career and actually your whole life! This must’ve been a huge decision, but this bravery will be repaid with love and light, for sure.
    It reminds me of a Happier podcast episode, in which they discussed the “What’s the bigger life?” and yours seems so clear and will be “huge”. :)

    • Hi Laura, thank you for your lovely comment :) It’s so awesome to hear kind words from people reading, especially when it’s about such a personal topic. I love that question of “what’s the bigger life”, and I remember using it way back when I was deciding to move to Korea! I hope it will continue to serve me. Thanks again for writing <3 I'm happy you're here

  • Welcome home! I drove by your old house last week – it still looks the same!

    • Haha thanks Laura! Yes I drove by around Christmas and it brought back lots of memories. Happy to be home :D

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